Who My Father Really Was . . .
A Loving Daughter's Story of Betrayal and Lies
Here I am loving my father who deceived, betrayed, and hurt me
I wrote a speech to give at the Ethical Culture Society in New York City on July 19, 2008 at a memorial service for my father, Ira Gollobin. It was a difficult speech for me to write - and a very difficult speech to consider delivering, as telling the truth can sometimes be.
I tried bravely to give my speech - but I was repeatedly stopped by my sister, Ruth Gollobin-Basta, her two children, and a few others making noise and shouting insults at me to interrupt me and keep everyone else from hearing what I had to say. Neither truth nor manners were high on their agenda.
Given my mother's and father's life-long commitment to free speech and their fight against censorship of ideas (however unpopular), I believe that my sister's behavior dishonored my mother and father - and reflects poorly on her.
That said, I want to thank all those in the audience who felt I should have been allowed to speak.
I want to thank the numerous people who came up to me and showed great compassion and sensitivity, who wanted to hear what I had come there to say, and who wanted to know even more. I am deeply grateful for the kindness each of you showed me, the compliments you gave me, and for your strength of character.
I am also very appreciative of how all my relatives (with the exception of my sister and her two children) treated me. You all showed yourselves to be open-minded, caring, intelligent, and supportive. I don't think any of you liked what my father did to me and my family - and I am so glad that none of you ever had your mother or father do to you what my father did to me.
I hope that all of you will read my speech.